Help family survive father’s terrible illness

Cora Wade writes: I’m married to John and have 5 beautiful children. John was happily working as a helicopter pilot, but then he got sick. 

He struggled for a long time before doctors figured out he had several auto immune diseases all at once. 

He struggles every day with pain, sickness, and insomnia. He takes morphine every day and has done for years, with really debilitating side effects because the medical system can’t help him.

 He was made redundant from his beloved job and eventually we lost our house to the bank as we couldn’t keep up with the mortgage. 

This is something he really struggles to accept. Since then we have gone from one disaster to another. 

We rent a house at the moment but the landlord wants us to move out so they can use it for something else, but we have nowhere to go. The council can’t help us. No private landlord will help because John is not working and we cannot afford to get anywhere ourselves. 

It’s really hard to watch our kids miss out on so much in their childhood. Some of them are too young to remember the amazing, fun, hardworking dad they had. 

Now they see him sick and weak and they see all the things they miss out on because we cannot afford it or because he is too ill to take part in it. 

It’s hard to hide our tears when we know there’s something they want but we can’t give it to them. Or hide our upset when we have to go to the food bank or sell some of our things to give them a birthday present or afford their homeschooling needs. 

It’s very humbling to have to hold your hands up and admit you need help. For John to not be able to provide for his family is devastating. 

He is not able to admit we need help but I as a wife and mother know that humbling ourselves and asking for help is the only option left open to us. 

John’s own doctors have told us about medication they believe will really help him and get him off the morphine. But they cannot prescribe this medication on the NHS and unfortunately we cannot afford to buy it privately. 

John was due to have an operation in January 2020 but it was postponed due to COVID and he is still waiting. He could get this operation in a matter of weeks privately but we cannot afford to pay for it. 

There are many things we could do to help him get better and get back to work but we cannot afford it. It’s extremely heartbreaking to know there is help right in front of us but we cannot take advantage of it because we don’t have enough money. 

We have experienced people’s kindness throughout this process. We feel so ashamed that we have not been able to repay that kindness and to have to ask for more help but that’s exactly what I’m doing. 

I need my husband back. My kids need their father back and we need some stability in our lives again – we need a forever home. 

If you could please help in anyway I would be so so grateful. You have no idea how much your help could change our lives.